Council Officers’ Gourmet Adventures: A Masterclass in Sarcasm and Procurement Card Etiquette

Ah, the life of a council officer—where the pursuit of “approved duties” apparently includes indulging in the finest culinary delights, all on the taxpayer’s pound. Let’s take a moment to appreciate the sheer dedication of these public servants, who have elevated the humble procurement card into a golden ticket for gastronomic exploration.

The Ice Cream Incident: A Chilling Revelation

On a balmy August day in 2023, while the rest of us were sweating through our shirts, Folkestone & Hythe District Council’s HR team decided to cool off in style. How? By dropping a cool £250 on ice cream from King’s Cones. That’s right—£250. For ice cream. One can only imagine the sheer volume of cones, sprinkles, and artisanal toppings required to hit that figure. Were they feeding an entire school sports day? Or perhaps hosting a secret ice cream summit to discuss the pressing issue of melting cones in the summer heat? Either way, it’s clear that when it comes to frozen treats, this council doesn’t skimp.

Chez Antoinette: A Taste of Paris on the Public Purse

Rewind to July 28, 2023 (but hidden in August data), and we find a council officer (or officers—mystery adds intrigue) from the Leadership Support Department wining and dining at Chez Antoinette in London. For the uninitiated, Chez Antoinette is not your average café. It’s a bastion of artisanal French cuisine and boasts an impressive selection of beverages—alcoholic and non-alcoholic, because inclusivity matters. The bill? A modest £45.68. What exactly was purchased remains a tantalizing mystery. Was it a croissant and a glass of champagne? A baguette and a bottle of Evian? The world may never know. But one thing’s for sure: when it comes to French delicacies, our council officers have exquisite taste.

Sotirios Restaurant: Professional Advice or Culinary Critique?

Fast Forward to June 19, 2024, an unnamed council officer decided to treat themselves (and probably others) to a £215 feast at Sotirios Restaurant in Folkestone. The description? “Professional Advice & Fees.” Ah, yes, because nothing says “professional advice” like a three-course meal at a local eatery. Perhaps the advice was on the merits of the moussaka versus the souvlaki. Or maybe it was a masterclass in balancing the budget while ordering dessert. Either way, it’s reassuring to know that the Housing Revenue Account is being spent so wisely

Lulivo: Authentic Italian Refreshments, Because Why Not?

On January 17, 2024, another officer/s from the Leadership Support Team decided to take a break from their undoubtedly grueling schedule to enjoy £55.13 worth of “refreshments” at Lulivo on Villiers St. For those unfamiliar, Lulivo is renowned for its authentic Italian cuisine—because when you’re in London, near Leicester Square, why settle for anything less? Whether it was a plate of truffle pasta or a tiramisu the size of a small car, one thing’s clear: this officer/s knows how to refresh in style.

Ah, after an exhausting pilgrimage to the Local Government Conference in Harrogate on the 21st of October 2024, accompanied by the ever-diligent Councillors Tim Prater and Jim Martin, Dr. Susan Priest found herself in dire need of sustenance to replenish her depleted energy reserves. Naturally, the trio sought refuge in a local gastro pub – Three’s a Crowd – where—armed with a council procurement card—they valiantly invested £154 of taxpayer money into “fresh and seasonal produce.” A true testament to fiscal responsibility and a masterclass in the art of justifying public expenditure.

The Constitution: A Tale of Double Standards

Now, for those of you playing along at home, let’s revisit the council’s Constitution.

Councillors, those poor souls, are limited to a measly £27.28 per day for subsistence (food) when out and about on approved duties. Breakfast? £5.88. Lunch? £8.13. Tea? A paltry £3.21. And dinner? A whopping £10.06. Meanwhile, council officers—those unsung heroes of the public sector—are apparently free to feast like royalty, with no limits in sight. Strange, isn’t it? One might even call it a glaring oversight. Or perhaps it’s just a testament to the fact that officers, like councillors, are human and need to eat—just, you know, better.

A Modest Proposal

Perhaps it’s time for the Constitution to be updated. After all, if councillors are expected to survive on £27.28 a day, surely officers should be held to the same standard. Or, alternatively, maybe we should just accept that procurement cards are the modern-day equivalent of a golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory—except instead of chocolate rivers, it’s artisanal French cuisine and £250 ice cream sprees.

In conclusion, let’s raise a glass (preferably a fine French wine, purchased on a procurement card) to our council officers. They may not have solved the housing crisis or fixed the change to a committee system, but by God, they’ve shown us how to dine in style. Bravo.

All the data is published in the Council’s procurement card data. There are legitimate uses for Council procurement cards. The inclusion of a person or entity in this blog post is not intended to suggest or imply that they have engaged in illegal or improper conduct. 

The Shepway Vox Team

Journalism for the People NOT the Powerful