Reform UK: Kent’s New Ruling Party Perfects the Art of Doing Sweet F*** All

Well, it’s finally happened. Kent County Council, the mighty engine room of local democracy, has been seized by the political equivalent of a Wetherspoons lock-in. Reform UK, the party that stormed the May 2025 local elections promising to shake up the system, has instead discovered a bold new approach to governance: don’t do any.

One Meeting to Rule Them All

Since being catapulted into power in May with a thumping majority, Reform UK has held exactly one council meeting: the ceremonial Annual General Meeting on 22 May. That’s it. One big day out, complete with robes, self-congratulation and just enough time to vote themselves into all the top jobs before bolting for the door like it was a fire drill at a dodgy curry house.

And then? Silence. The official Kent County Council calendar is now a post-apocalyptic wasteland of CANCELLED committee meetings. Scrutiny? Cancelled. Audit? Cancelled. Health & Overview? Also cancelled. Even the Regulation Committee has been regulated into non-existence. If laziness were an Olympic sport, Kent would be sending gold medalists to Paris.

Paid to Vanish

In a dazzling display of efficiency, the newly elected Reform mob have managed to abolish accountability, responsibility and basic presence in just a few short weeks. But fear not, they haven’t cancelled everything. Their allowances? Still going strong.

Each Kent councillor is raking in a basic allowance of over £17,000 a year – and that’s before expenses, special responsibility extras, or overtime for not attending things. That’s right: they are being paid handsomely to do absolutely bugger all. At this rate, the only pressing question is whether they’ll need a pay rise for the added stress of avoiding work.

The Great Castle Knees-Up

So what exactly have Kent’s Reformers been doing instead of, you know, running the council? Preparing for a lavish political piss-up at Westenhanger Castle on Trump’s birthday, naturally.

While the rest of us are wondering who is fixing the potholes or sorting out children’s services, Reform UK are busy arranging their very own castle-based celebration. Yes, really. A full-on gala dinner, today, complete with canapés, speeches and a members-only knees-up at one of Kent’s fanciest venues. Tickets: £60 a head. Governance? Not included.

The event doubles as a Conference, where Reform UK faithful gather to ponder “The Way Ahead” — a direction which appears to involve as few council duties as possible. Highlights included David Wimble, fresh from cancelling scrutiny back home in Romney Marsh, giving a policy analysis presumably longer than any meeting he’s chaired. And media personality Liz Kershaw, famous for her time on Radio 1 and now a Reform darling, offering nostalgic reflections on the glory days of actual broadcasting – which is more than can be said for Kent’s signal-dead democratic process.

Matt Goodwin will appear to rally the troops with tales of anti-woke rebellion, followed by a star-turn message from the man himself, Nigel Farage. By the end, the whole thing will resemble less a policy forum and more a fan convention for people who think Brexit didn’t go far enough and council meetings are optional.

No wonder they cancelled the committees. Wouldn’t want a tedious budget discussion interfering with your black-tie chicken supreme and Prosecco, would you?

Kent Budget = Lidl Grocery Bill, Apparently

Meanwhile, Kent’s new Capo dei capi, Cllr Linden Kemkaran, has taken to comparing Kent County Council’s £1.5 billion budget to her “household shopping list.”

Yes, because who among us hasn’t been in Tesco, realised social care spending is up 10%, and said, “Darling, shall we trim the children’s services so we can afford more bin collections?”

Kemkaran’s grasp of public finance is about as tight as her grip on meeting schedules. As pointed out by local watchdogs Shepway Vox, over 70% of the council’s budget is legally ringfenced – but who cares about facts when you can just compare potholes to Pot Noodles?

Reform: Putting Themselves First

The message is clear: Reform UK have taken over Kent County Council not to reform it, but to reform their social calendars. In the space of a six weeks, they’ve turned the council chamber into a taxpayer-funded cloakroom for party prep. Meanwhile, real issues – crumbling roads, care backlogs, broken planning, transport appeals, school appeals – are ignored like last month’s expense receipts.

It’s like electing the cast of “The Only Way Is Essex” to run the Bank of England.

In Lieu of Leadership, Have a Lanyard

To the casual observer, Kent is now being run by a political tribute act to Brexit: lots of slogans, very little in the way of practical delivery. You’d be forgiven for thinking the council building had been mothballed for a Channel 5 documentary called Britain’s Most Luxurious Local Governments.

With their first actual decision being to ban flags they don’t like and cancel all scrutiny, one wonders what comes next: Council Meetings by Ouija Board? Department of Common Sense staffed entirely by pub landlords?

Still Want Change?

Kent voters were told Reform UK would “clean house“. Turns out they meant clear house – of people, meetings, scrutiny, and any pretense of doing a job. All that remains is a group of glorified spectators collecting public money while sipping Castle wine and avoiding anything that looks remotely like work.

And it’s only June. Imagine what they’ll manage to not do by Christmas.

Reform UK: Putting the “paid” in “paid leave” since May 2025.

The Shepway Vox Team

Dissent is NOT a Crime