Exclusive: Three new breeds of Romney Marsh sheep

Exclusive:

Romney Marsh is a place known worldwide for producing some of the worlds finest sheep (Ovis Aries). The sheep are docile and are well known for following their shepherd wherever he goes.

It has come to pass that Romney Marsh has produced three new breeds of sheep, they are as follows:

We spoke to Dr Ovis Aries of the National Sheep Association who told us that upon closer inspection each of these new breeds  appear to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Their DNA gene structures show a high number of commonalities to each other he said after undertaking detailed genetic analysis.

He went onto say, “These new breed of sheep have been engineered to love money and dutifully accept anything their shepherd  (pictured below) gives to them.”. He added “the sheep have been breed to hide behind walls and hedges to avoid the public. As for answering any questions honestly, forget it,” was his frank assessment of their DNA. His parting words to the Shepwayvox Team  was “they will talk in a strange language – baaa, baaa, baaa, and don’t worry if you interview them because being savaged by a dead sheep is not as unpleasant as you might have been informed.”

So with Dr Ovis Aries words ringing in our ears, we remind you these new breed of sheep will soon be seen in the Folkestone & Hythe District Council chamber, eating the food supplied by their shepherd. As you no doubt know by now, each of them have said they’ll promote and represent the people of Romney Marsh, when in fact they are taking their 30 pieces of silver for propping up a failed Tory administration. At some point in the future the new breeds will we suspect, bleat on about how they were betrayed, and they were just doing their best for the Marsh and the district. When the time comes, we, nor you we suspect, will forget that the three new breeds are/were the black sheep of the family.

Dr Ovis Aries comments about  wolf’s in sheep clothing may come to pass, and if so, these new breed of sheep could well savage Princes Parade, Otterpool Park and other magnificent areas of our wonderful district. How that then will best serve the people of the Marsh and the district we have yet to find out. It could get messy.

The Shepwayvox Team

Dissent is NOT a Crime